Way back in my days in middle school; I was assigned to someone who would excuse me from class and read me various kinds of books. I was never told explicitly why I was cut into this deal, but any questions I had were buried under the feeling of pride due to me being the only one. That feeling I got brought upon memories of fraternizing with the STEM groups in elementary school, being part of an exclusive team. Middle school was a very alienating period for me; so a little familiarity went a long way in uplifting my spirits.
In this case, it was only me, the Reader, and her book. With time, this pattern made me believe I was behind in some way. Mind you, I was left in the dark as to why I was even going through this; and even if I had been told, I'd forget so by now. Each session became less stimulating for me in my ever-increasing lack of interest. I failed to see the value in having someone read to me when I could've been in class with the other students. Regardless, the day came when the Reader told me she'd be leaving, and that she enjoyed having the chance to meet me.
Not much comes to mind when I brush up on this day, but what I can remember is that I was already in a sour mood before her announcement. Whether it might've been due to a cold, or a run-in with a bully; I can't remember. As she was getting ready to leave, she handed me a paperback of The Giver by Lois Lowry and said she hoped I'd give it a read. In my seat; my reaction, or lack thereof was quiet and cold. I'd like to think I at least said my goodbyes at that moment.
As the years passed by, the book collected dust, and my guilt for my behavior on that day grew. It took a long time, but I'm glad to share that I'm two days into the novel and nearly finished. I'm not sure why it took so long, so because of that, I don't think there's a need to squeeze some kind of life lesson into this story. If anything is certain; I'd take the time to apologize for being rude and give thanks to the Reader for sharing that time with me, even if I didn't see the value of it at the time. I understand now that some gifts take time to reveal their worth; but this experience, in particular, makes me think if there's anything I'm overlooking something in the present day.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. - 1 John 4:9
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